Putting a Child Up for Adoption

Birth Mother Rights

As a birth mother, until you sign the Termination of Parental Rights and/or finalize the adoption process in court, whether you have made an adoption plan or not, you are the legal parent and are entitled to all the legal rights and responsibilities that are part of being a parent. All thru the pregnancy and adoption process, it is up to you to choose what path you and your child will take once the baby is born. Adoption laws will vary from one state to another, so it is important for you to talk to professionals who can provide you with accurate information about the adoption laws of the state in which you live. It is also important to work with an adoption provider that will arrange an adoption plan according to your needs and desires, if adoption is the path you have chosen for your child. At all times, if you have any questions or concerns, you have the right to seek out accurate information on adoption and have the right to make your own decision.

Adoption Counseling

You have the right to receive counseling regarding your pregnancy and adoption issues. In fact, many states require adoption counseling, but it should always be considered, required or not. The decision you make will impact your life and your child's life for as long as you each live, so it is an important decision that should be thoughtfully made. Once you choose to continue the pregnancy, you will then decide to parent or choose to place your child up for adoption. It is important to figure out what you want to do and find people that can support you in whatever decision you make. If you need someone to talk to, don't be afraid to discuss your true feelings. It is better to talk about them now than to regret it later. Hopefully you have family and friends that you can talk to, and don't be afraid to include the birth father in the process. Contact a counselor that is experienced in dealing with pregnancy issues and who can offer you good advice and answer your questions, whether it is about parenting or adoption or any related issues.

Adoption State Laws

Adoption laws are enacted to protect the rights of birth parents, the child, and the adopting parents. There are both federal laws and state laws that affect the adoption process and determine how an adoption must be handled. Adoption laws cover many aspects of the adoption process, including; Access to Adoption Records, Consent to Adoption, Rights of Birth Fathers, Regulation of Adoption Expenses, Adoption Advertising, and Services of Adoption Facilitators.

Even if adoption laws vary between states, there are some things that are consistent no matter where you live. While some states allow adopting parents to pay for pregnancy and birth related expenses, it is not legal for someone to pay you for your baby, whether it is with cash or something else of value. It is also not legal if some one or some agency wants to arrange an adoption for your baby without the legal paperwork or legal proceedings. It is not legal for some one to coerce you into making a decision. You should be free to make a decision without coercion. Coercion is when someone tries to threaten you, force you, or embarrass you into making a choice you don't want to make, whether it is to parent, have an abortion, or place your child up for adoption.

Birth Mother's Adoption Rights

The birth mother has the right to choose what type of adoption she wants - a confidential adoption, an open adoption, or a semi-open adoption. The birth mother has the right to choose whether she wants her adoption handled by an adoption attorney or adoption agency, provided the choices are allowed by state law. The birth mother can choose the family to adopt her child, or she can leave the decision to the adoption provider. She can decide when she will give the baby to the adopting family, and decide if she wants to spend time with the baby after it is born. The birth mother also has the legal right to complete the original birth certificate with any name she chooses.

Birth Mother's Hospital Birth Plan

The birth mother has the right to work out a hospital birth plan, an agenda that lets everyone involved know what to expect on the delivery day. As you work out your adoption plan, work out a birth plan as well. Some of the issues to cover are allowed visitors, medications, room setup, breastfeeding, who gets hospital items (blankets and bracelets), baby photos, and privacy issues with hospital staff. When you are in the hospital, you are the parent and should be treated with the same respect that would be given to any mother on her delivery day. If you have any concerns, make sure you talk to your counselor so that she can see that everything is being handled the way you want it to be handled. Don't be afraid to speak up and share your thoughts and feelings. It's an important day and you have the right to say how you want things to happen and you have the right to change your mind.

The Right to Change Your Mind

As the birth mother, you are the legal parent and can change your mind about placing your child up for adoption at any time before you sign the legal adoption forms, if you feel that it would not be the best decision for you or your baby. The relinquishment papers can not be signed before the baby is born, and most states require a minimum waiting period of hours or days after the baby is born, before the birth mother can legally sign them. Many birth mothers find the birth more emotional than they had thought, and so might you. The birth mother is not required to sign the papers right away and you can request more time with the child. You have the right to wait and do not have to sign the papers until you are ready. If you do not want to sign the papers in the hospital, you don't have to. Talk to your adoption counselor and let them know what you would like to do. Some times birth mothers decide to sign the papers later at the adoption agency or attorney's office, rather than deal with it at the hospital.

Seeking Legal Advice for Adoption

Hopefully this article will help make you aware of some of your rights as a birth mother, but it should not take the place of legal advice. If you are a birth mother considering placing your child up for adoption, it is important that you seek out an adoption counselor and/or an adoption attorney that will be your advocate and give you the information you need so that you can be confident that the decision you make is the right decision for you and your baby.